Origins of the Diablo Swing Orchestra
by Psychoflop
Summary: You know the music, but what made them?


Chapter 1: Starting the upheaval

Changing the religion of a society always causes resentment amongst at least some of the people, and no continent knew that more throughout history than Europe. The 6th to 10th centuries saw the worst of it, as Europe was slowly converted to Christianity in many of its' forms, depending on country, of course. For Stockholm, the religion of choice was the Protestant Lutheran national church. Some people liked that they didn't have as many obligations to this church in their day to day lives, others longed for the days of the nation's Paganism that was less than a generation in the past (yet seemed so far away). The servant for King Gustav I (a servant so low, he didn't even have a name from birth) knew that he would be the face of all of the praise and all of the condemnation of the townsfolk staring at him (gathering in what would be the core of downtown Stockholm in several centuries time).

His orders from the church were simple: 1 nail per scroll, hammer the nail through the top middle section of the page (where nothing on the page was written), ignore any and all crowd reactions (even the positive ones). He instead decided to focus on the fact that the sky was nearly pitch black (a sky so overcast, he was actually terrified of what his countrymen called god-stones, or what we in modern times would call hail). If he were his pagan ancestor several centuries prior, he would likely think a viking spirit would come haunt him for what he was doing. Now, he knew he would be thrown to the rack for heresy if he were caught thinking that way.

The south wall of the church faced a large fountain (all off-white with cherubs spitting out water in each of the 4 directions of a compass), and there were no steps to the main entrance, merely a walkway made from simple, grey cobblestone (making sure not to disrupt the local plant life whenever possible). It was his last poster to nail, and he surveyed the crowd response him as...mixed, at best.

"These are your new rules: God first, Kingdom of Sweden second" he announced before walking briskly inside the church to avoid being hit with stale food (or rocks, or animal feces) from the citizens of the town who were afraid of the change.

"I think we should organize a protest against King Gustav" said 1 person, a street merchant who handled the town's cheese.

"Yeah, like that windbag would ever listen to the common man in his own country" said another, the town blacksmith.

"Too many problems with Norway again?" asked a third, the town butcher (where rumours of him were mostly of having a secret dancing room in the back of his shop).

"Too many problems with everyone in Europa that isn't him as most of Europe actually went Catholic, except England, of course" answered a fourth, a school teacher.

"So many where we might get away with some minor protests in town" mused a fifth, a courier and writer.

"Maybe, if the townspeople who actually like this new church don't turn us in to the Pastors or whatever they call themselves" added the sixth one thoughtfully, an event planner.

The 6 of them stared at each other, relieved to not feel alone anymore. Ultimately, it fell to the cheese vendor to begin making the introductions.

"Aabram Hakansson" he said through a somewhat well-kept medium length blonde hairdo that simultaneously defied description but hung over his eyes. He then tightened the length of twine that was holding up his brown wool pants (as he couldn't afford a proper belt, something he had in common with most of the rest of the townspeople), then adjusted his white oversized shirt (which was in desperate need of a wash at the local pond)

"Baltasar Mantefors" replied the blacksmith. He was the tallest and physically strongest of the group, but all of his clothes were permanently stained black, and his long, flowing hair turned grey as a side effect to his line of work.

"Caspar Johansson" said the butcher through a pair of crudely made spectacles. He was blonde-haired as well, but his long hair was neatly tied back (as he surmised long ago that his customers didn't appreciate any of his hair getting into any of their purchases) and his blood-stained apron was so distinct that no one paid attention to the clothes that he was wearing underneath.

"Daniel Bergion" replied the school teacher. A male school teacher in any part of the world in this time period was unusual, but a well-groomed brown-haired one in North Europe sparked rumours that he came from a far away land and thus, did not entirely belong (much less deserve the privilege of educating the town's children). He was dressed the nicest out of the 6, a dark-blue, well-tailored suit with black shoes that the other 5 surmised came from either London or Paris (likely London, as Paris' fashions were much more liberal).

"Elf Halvardsson" replied the town courier, dressed nearly identically to Aabram but kept his blonde hair shorter. He was also the shortest of the 5 males (and the second shortest overall) and was carrying a package under his right arm (he knew not what, as that was not his job).

"Felicia Logdlund" finished the one female of the 6. Her hair was blacker than the blacksmith's and longer than any of the 5 males. She wore a custom made red dress that was designed to attract attention (which likely added to her bottom line as an event planner). After they exchanged handshakes, nods and bows of acknowledgement. They looked at each other awkwardly until Aabram spoke again.

"So, what's the best way to protest in a land where half of its' people are perfectly accepting of a major change in their religion?" he asked, making sure to sound sincere and to avoid all sarcasm and rhetoric.

"Art's usually the best way, on any world or time period" came a stranger's reply from behind them. They turned their attention to someone staring at the waterfall. His skin was so grey that all 6 of them assumed that he was either already dead, or well on his way. His hat and coat did nothing but enhance their belief that he was likely the tallest man in all of Europe (and caused strange looks amongst anyone who caught a glimpse of him, as his clothing alone would not be fashionable until they had all been in the ground for 3 or 4 centuries). He then spoke again "I could tell you that I'm not really from around these parts, but I know all 6 of you to be intelligent human beings and to have figured that out already"

"You...speak so strangely" whispered Felicia, slightly nervous (as were all of the other 5, as they all inherently knew that touching him was a bad idea, yet he did not have the plague).

"Oh that. Yes, I seem to be struggling with Old Swedish. When I was a boy my middle English and Occitan were much better but I could only learn so much from that institution in Colorado. Even now, historical records of this era have mostly been lost to time so please forgive my shortcomings" he replied while making sure to maintain eye contact with Felicia (something that all 6 could tell was difficult for whoever or whatever this was).

"You're close enough, good sir. I assume you know all of our names but what is yours?" asked Daniel.

"Aaron Collins" the stranger in black replied.

"You're named after a character in our new bible, but an Irish surname?" asked Elf.

"There's a lot of cultural crossover when I come from." replied Aaron.

"Late 20th, Early 21st century. I don't know how I know that or how I know that you're on a slightly different calendar than all of us are" said Baltasar, sounding distressed over the situation.

"I am, but it's only different by 10 or 15 days" answered Aaron, who gave the townspeople a rare glimpse at pure, silver teeth.

"I suggest we continue this discussion at Olaf's after we all finish our jobs for the day" suggested Caspar.

"Sure, it'll be like my time in _Mechanisms_ " said Aaron, who then immediately waved his hand in the air, suggesting that his 6 new friends forget that he said that.

They had retreated to Olaf's, a tavern only a few blocks away to the west of the new church. Brown cobblestone were the predominant bricks of every wall. The bar itself (as well as the pillars and tables) looked to have been made by carpenters during the later Viking Era of Sweden's history. Aaron was actually smiling, happy to be away from what a human would perceive to be an apartment in Nth-dimensional space. He knew that he couldn't stay very long, so he decided to make the most of it.

"Do you guys want to see a trick?" he asked after the pints of Mead had arrived for his 6 new friends (he was still Straightedge, despite being non-human, and got more than a few dirty looks from everyone at the bar when he just asked for water. He didn't even care that the water was brown, as he knew it wouldn't kill him).

"Sure" replied Aabram.

Aaron nodded and he placed his metal pint glass in the middle of the table.

"OK, all 6 of you grab my right wrist and forearm and push it down onto the table as hard as you can so that I...can't move" Aaron asked. The 6 of them (after looking at each other), did as asked.

Aaron-prime stretched his forearm, eventually reaching the pint glass with his right hand. After another 30 seconds, his arm reset itself, drink firmly in hand.

"That is NUTS!" declared Baltasar.

"You're really not human at all" added Caspar.

"No, I was once. I spent most of my life in a sanitarium, then I realized that what I wrote became real and decided that I'd had enough of being alive or human"

"You're dead?" asked Daniel.

"The human in me is. Well, mostly." replied Aaron while looking up at the cobblestone ceiling which was grey as well as brown, which Aaron attributed to a renovation that had taken place about 30 or 40 years prior.

"Anything else that we should know about you?" asked Elf.

"I wrote all of you" replied Aaron-prime. All 6 of them laughed at him.

"All right, prove it" declared Felicia.

Aaron cleared his throat before speaking "Aabram sells cheese but can't consume it due to what people in my time would call 'lactose intolerance'. Baltasar keeps his money savings in a hollowed out post in the frame of his bed that he built himself (and given how uncertain banks are in this time period, I don't blame him. Then again, banks in my time aren't much better). Caspar secretly hates chopping up animals (he would be a vegetarian or even a vegan...oh, sorry...that's someone who doesn't eat animal products, if he were living in my time period). Daniel has some Briton blood in his family tree, hence his hair. Elf is 1 of the only people in this town who actually likes his occupation. Felicia...would be a diagnosed nymphomaniac in my modern time. That's someone who is compulsively driven to engage in sexual intercourse whenever possible."

All 6 of them were too embarrassed to stare at anyone else (except for Felicia who enjoyed having a name for an aspect of her personality that wasn't 'slut', 'whore' or 'hysterical'). Aaron-prime then pulled back, slightly startled.

"How were all of you able to touch me without leaving the planet?" Aaron-prime asked.

"I don't understand" replied Felicia. The other 5 nodded in agreement with her.

"Up until now, anyone who touches me goes up to, well, the world where I come from. But my physiology has been in a constant state of flux since I ceased to be human. Cammy, am I OK to touch people now?" explained and asked Aaron-prime. The 6 of them scratched their heads in confusion, as they merely saw their new friend talking to someone who wasn't there.

"OK, I apparently can. That's...interesting." said Aaron-prime. Aaron-prime then shrugged, then continued "So, I don't have much longer to spend here. So I should probably leave you with some tools."

Aaron-prime looked around to make sure that no one was staring at him, then snapped his fingers, then leather bags and books appeared in front of everyone.

"These books contain music theory and lessons that will be conceived of as eccentric even in my time. Here, they'll be considered insane. But your songwriting abilities will be catchy enough to inspire the oppressed and downtrodden. The leather bags have gold coins in them in order for you to buy instruments and tools to play. I...better go now. I'll look in on you from time to time"

"Thank you" said Baltasar. The others nodded. Aaron-prime was reluctant to leave, then he shrugged and began hugging all 6 of them goodbye before vanishing into thin air.

"We have some reading and shopping to do here" said Caspar.

Chapter 2: Presenting the soundtrack for the resistance

If there was 1 thing that their otherworldly benefactor was very good at, it was writing things down (the band, now known as Diablo Swing Orchestra speculated that this Aaron fellow would write many things in his time). In a matter of just a few weeks, they not only learned different instruments (or in Felicia's case, vocal technique as a Soprano Opera singer) but how to actually write their own music, collaborate with other musicians and structure collections of songs into something called "albums" (which was specified in the books as being several centuries ahead of schedule). Thankfully, with Baltasar's workshop as a blacksmith being essentially a converted horse stable, there was more than enough room to rehearse without offending any townsfolk.

Aabram and Baltasar learned lutes simultaneously, as their books were very similar. The only key difference being Aabram was focused on playing the lute for the purposes of maintaining rhythm and more on being a male lead vocalist to compliment Felicia, whereas Baltasar took to the lute a lot faster, playing more and more extravagant pieces of music (referred to throughout the book as "lead solo work")

Caspar actually had looks of admiration just in acquiring his instrument. Stringed basses were actually relatively new in this period, and there was only one place in all of Stockholm that had even bothered to try making them (a company called Bootsy's, a strangely named place on a level that suggested the establishment was as much an anachronism of time as Aaron himself). Caspar was merely playing the same notes as Aabram (only 2 octaves lower), then as he kept reading, he began writing his own distinct melodies that added to the overall sound.

Daniel also bought a stringed bass from Bootsy's but then had to construct something called a "double bass bow" out of finely shaped wood and horse hair (which according to his book, was a prototype for an instrument called a "cello"). He may have been the hardest working of the 6, as he learned to sing as something called a "tenor".

Elf had to steal barrels of varying size from the taverns across town, then make sticks so that he could hit them without breaking his hands. He enjoyed that different sized barrels produced different sounds, but something was missing. A week before the setting of this chapter is set in, he realized that metal used to make swords could also be moulded into large, thin, round discs (with the supervision of Baltasar the blacksmith) which were identified in his book as "cymbals".

Felicia actually had the least to learn in terms of actual craft (the vocal technique section of her book was actually quite small). Her lessons actually focused more on human and mob psychology. Specifically: How to engage a crowd, how to connect to individuals in the crowd, vocal endurance and interaction with band fanatics (which for some reason, Aaron chose to label as "fans" in his writings).

"I just realized something: we have several hours worth of music already written. I wonder if (in Aaron's time) there are ways to record music to tell stories like we sometimes collect folk tales and legends down onto paper or parchment" said Felicia.

"I sure hope so, otherwise what's the point of us progressing as a society?" answered Aabram.

"Are we sure that we want this first gig? Given where it is and all" asked Baltasar nervously.

"The best way to rebel against any given system is to work inside it to destroy it" replied Caspar while nodding.

"While I would generally agree with that statement, we're playing at a gathering for the very church that we and many of our fellow countrymen despise" stated Daniel, playing a form of a devil's advocate.

"Maybe Daniel's right. We may even get killed for heresy" added Elf.

"I think if we play the catchiest songs that we have and keep the lyrics toned down to start with for our first few shows, we'll be OK" said Felicia as she began thumbing through the band's sheet music.

"How much time do we have to play this evening?" asked Aabram.

"15 minutes. And I was told by that church lackey who posted the signs all throughout town the day that we met in no uncertain terms that there will be a precision made hourglass on hand that will measure the time we spend on stage" replied Baltasar.

"Counting band member introductions, crowd rallying and song title announcements, that's 3 of our average length songs or 2 of the longer ones" said Caspar.

"OK, so 'Justice for Saint Mary' and 'Stratosphere Serenade' are definitely out" stated Daniel matter of factly.

"I say we just play it safe. "Balrog Boogie" "Vodka Inferno and "Voodoo Mon Amour" will leave us with some room for error, or space between songs if we get everything right the first time." said Elf as he looked up to the ceiling of the stable. Partly to recall the songs that the band had written, partly as he was dumbfounded as to how the ceiling remained intact with only a small hole to ventilate the smoke that Baltasar undoubtedly inhaled several days a week.

Felicia went through the vocal lines in her own head for all 3 of the songs, then said "OK, Balrog and Voodoo are pretty intense for me so you boys can have fun during Vodka so that my throat muscles can rest a bit"

Later that evening, the church crowd had grown to over 100 people (where 20 was the standard sized crowd for Saturday evening).

"You're on in 2 minutes. In fairness to you, I'll turn the hourglass back over once the last of you hits the stage" said the church lackey.

"We've actually timed our rehearsal today using a smaller hourglass that our blacksmith made. We'll be about a minute under even with crowd rallying and band member introductions" replied Felicia, who had figured out that she would be the band member who had to be the most talkative.

"Thank you. Some of our entertainers don't even bother rehearsing beforehand. They usually never play again" said lackey with a tone that implied that some acts from the past were "erased quietly" afterwards. Diablo Swing Orchestra gulped in unison, knowing what was now at stake.

They took to the stage and noticed that all of the rows or seats that were normally placed in the main hall of the church had been moved over to the left and right walls. All 100 people in the crowd were standing (which actually delighted the band to no end). It wasn't actually Felicia who addressed the crowd first, but Aabram, who shouted:

"Do you like to dance? Well, here's your chance!" (which Felicia silently accepted would be the band's ice-breaker to crowds forever. They launched immediately into Balrog Boogie:

 _Mea culpa, ecce signum,_ _  
_ _Corpus vile, coram deo_ _  
_ _Pactum serva,_ _  
_ _Scala caeli, gloria patri, pax et bonum_ _  
_ _Sine cura, vade mecum,_ _  
_ _Casus belli, lusus naturae_ __

 _Dies illa, velut luna, dona es virtum_

Those were the only lyrics to the song, repeated 3 times. It was only fitting that they began with a song entirely in Latin. The band surmised that with Latin being the default language of any Christian church, the preachers and other staff would at least appreciate the effort made by the band...

...they didn't. While a few were dancing (and enjoying themselves), many had there hands to their ears and were outraged. It was only then that the band discovered that their books given to them contained how to perform the "Tritone", a combination of 3 notes meant to sound evil or subversive. Once the song was over, Felicia took to introducing the rest of the band and herself with as little in the way of wasting time as possible, hoping to ease the tension. It didn't, so the band ignored it and went into "Vodka Inferno"

 _Saved by her grace, oh so fair without a lock of hair  
Grabs her by the waist, lifts her high above  
Says: behold my love!_

 _With you, I'll never be lonely  
Without you I'll never be sane  
For you, I shall conquer the oceans  
For you, I'll just leave them again_

 _Absinthe love affairs, we fill our lungs with hymns of  
Pride and poverty and we shall overcome  
Bring her into our hearts of tar and stone  
Until that warm embrace will come_

 _Words so tender, whispered slowly  
Heed her bittersweet caress  
Swears he'll never leave, he'll never lie to her again_

 _My dear, forgive me my feelings  
My dear, I'll give you my all  
Just save me from all of these thoughts now  
Just spare me, be there when I fall_

 _Woken by her voice  
A song she's hummed so many times before  
Hear her calling, hear her yearning  
For his hand again _

It was the same reaction as with "Balrog Boogie", only the leaders of this church mouthed the words "Wrap it up" so that Felicia could see, she nodded and the band went into "Voodoo Mon Amour" (with the band saddened that interacting with the few that seemed to enjoy their sound was now completely out of the question, at least within the church).

 _Insert your needles elsewhere_ _  
_ _I'm broken as it is_ _  
_ _Cannot stand or take the fall_ _  
_ _Consider it as a bliss_ _  
_ _Bewildered by your ego_ _  
_ _Such savage since you smiled_ _  
_ _When I can see your pins in me_ _  
_ _Iron gifts come pouring down_ __

 _Voodoo (mon amour)_ _  
_ _Voodoo (mon amour)_ _  
_ _Voodoo_ _  
_ _Voodoo (cherie mon amour)_ __

 _It's voodoo mon amour_ __

 _Soaked in your breath now_ _  
_ _We reek as mammals do_ _  
_ _Reality emerges_ _  
_ _And presents itself upon you_ _  
_ _Like a petty piggy laughter_ _  
_ _So empty and estranged_ _  
_ _(Of each other, from one and another)_ _  
_ _And iron gifts just keep pouring down_ __

 _It's voodoo, mon amour_ _  
_ _It's voodoo, mon amour_ _  
_ _It's voodoo, mon cherie, mon amour_

 _It's voodoo, mon amour_ _  
_ _It's voodoo, mon amour_ _  
_ _It's voodoo_ _  
_ _It's voodoo (cherie mon amour)_ __

 _It's voodoo, mon amour_ _  
_ _It's voodoo, mon amour_ _  
_ _It's voodoo_ _  
_ _It's voodoo, mon cherie, mon amour_

Now it was the multiple languages (Middle English, Old Swedish, Latin and a version of French that no one alive had ever heard before) that alienated people (save for the few that were still dancing). They left the stage to very little applause (a little bit of it was fear-induced, but there were some who genuinely liked the performance). The leader of the parish simply screamed "All 6 of you are banned from this church for life, and I suggest that you disband and never play again if you value unburnt flesh" before retiring to his private office. The band quickly exited out the back of the church, instruments in hand.

"I know that we were probably going to get banned no matter what songs of ours that we played, but that was still a blow to us" stated Elf once they were outside. The sky was usually full of stars at night, but due to the new moon, no one could see them.

"We'll find other venues to play in" said Felicia in an attempt to be re-assuring (no one else in the band bought it at all).

"Even if we do, our new church is 1 of the biggest venues in Sweden, if not the rest of Scandinavia (both what of Scandinavia that's owned by Sweden and what isn't)." said Aabram as he began mentally plotting the road back to his shop that would attract the least attention (as the shop was big enough to hide the whole band until the town's anxiety died down, some of whom may be sharpening pitchforks and lighting torches as you read this, constant reader old chum).

"We liked it" came a voice who had exited out the church's front door, then walked all the way around to intercept the band. The leader was a short, blonde-haired and very thin girl who was wearing rags that suggested that she was a daughter of a farmer of some kind ("Potatoes" was Caspar's silent guess). She was then joined by 5 others: 2 more females and 3 males.

"These must be the 'fanatics' that Aaron fellow told us about in our books...um, thank you very much." answered Baltasar with a smile.

"You're welcome. We know your names from your rushed band introductions. My name is Greta Kjellberg" replied the aforementioned blonde, who then nodded at the other 5 (as if it was their cue to introduce themselves).

"Hanna Canel" announced the 2nd female, who was of equal height and social stature to Greta but was of a medium build (and was oddly brown-eyed instead of the typically Swedish blue)

"Ida Sjoholm" announced lady #3, who was the heaviest and tallest among the girls, but still blonde and by no means unattractive (especially since she was wearing a tailor-made white and green dress).

"Jacobus Kidman" announced the tallest (and only brown-haired) male. It was hardest for the band to distinguish between the males as all 3 were wearing dark blue suits and black shoes.

"Kane Thordendal" announced the next male, who was of identical height (and hair, long and blonde) to the last male, who now stepped forward.

"Lechardus Haake" announced the last male, who seemed (if nothing else) the shyest of the 6.

"We appreciate that anyone likes our music at all. But in light of being banned from this place for life, our career may be over before it really started" lamented Caspar, who was more than a little dejected.

"Give us a month to spread the word, if we can't provide you a better second show, then break up and the 6 of us will never bother you again" said Hanna, who sounded both passionate and desperate.

"What do you guys think?" asked Daniel to the rest of the band.

"We have nothing left to lose. Other then, well, our heads" said Felicia (the rest of the band nodded).

"Great! Boys and Girls, we have work to do" announced Ida to the fans. The fans and the band exchanged nods and parted company in opposite directions. It was a quarter of a kilometre before the fans encountered Aaron-prime.

"They're keeping it up" said Jacobus.

"Of course they are, I knew that they would" said Aaron-prime while making sure to tip his signature Panama hat at each of the fans.

"So, we proceed as discussed before the show?" asked Kane to Aaron-prime. Aaron-prime merely nodded at him.

"OK, off to make a band famous" announced Lechardus.

Chapter 3: A Shindig of Subversion

Sure enough, 28 days later, Diablo Swing Orchestra were setting up their instruments on the north end of a dilapidated barn outside of Stockholm. People had been coming in 1 or 2 at a time at most (mostly looking like they were afraid that they were being followed by someone, namely from the church), always asking if they found the place where the "banned church band" were playing. It was Greta who approached the band, with many coins in her hand.

"100 silver pieces" announced Greta. Aabram took 60 then said "you and your other fanatics keep the other 40. You guys need to eat too"

"And the rest of the admissions goes to you guys to. Latecomers and the like" added Felicia.

The band watched as Greta walked away with a smile, then Baltasar asked "I think we should keep it short tonight but not as short as the church. 5 songs good with everyone?"

All 5 of them nodded, then Caspar (after a moment's thought), exclaimed "The 3 we did at the church plus ' Pink Noise Waltz' and 'A Tap Dancer's Dilemma' would probably be best, we need to get them dancing all night long"

The band nodded and took their places (to cheers from nearly 150 people), then Daniel shouted: "Do you like to dance? Well, here's your chance!" which the fans responded by making up dance moves on the spot as the band played "Balrog Boogie", then continued through "Vodka Inferno" and then "Voodoo Mon Amour".

"OK, time for some new stuff, this is a song called 'Pink Noise Waltz'" announced Elf.

 _Well-paid Jesus, vicious nails  
by tired angels of mine  
Fresh taste of first light when they do come down  
Skin-deep memories of siren lullabies_

 _Sealed from us from me  
From everything  
You go  
Despair you tend to bring  
to me, to us  
to everything  
With tide comes_

 _Holy water, she's breaking those waves  
Holy water, she's breathing those waves  
The silence keeps her sane_

 _Tainted sounds from haunted throats  
Iron tears on satin sheets  
Silver spoon, bred through pain  
And Then Silent All Those Years  
Ether Eyes Have Never Seen  
Where dirty hands have never been_

 _Sealed from us..._

 _Holy water..._

It took a while for people to understand that the song was in 3/4 time, much less figure out how to dance to it, but they were in such awe that no one cared.

"I think you guys just brought the waltz to Sweden" came Aaron-Prime's voice inside their heads after they stopped playing the song.

"And finally, we will give you...'A Tap Dancer's Dilemma'" announced Felicia.

 _I see them days are coming  
We hear them roar  
They'll bring the end upon us  
And we will have no mercy no more  
Then you'll search for your soul salvation  
Our hands are bound  
We cry out for direction  
But only those truly lost can be found_

 _Why wont you  
Save them, oh let me save you  
Heal them, I can heal you  
Make them closer to your heart,  
We cant just watch these walls come tumbling down  
Why wont you save them, oh let me save you  
Heal them, I can heal you  
Make them closer to your heart  
We cant just watch these walls come tumbling down_

 _In the final hour, you can cleanse your souls  
By whispering Hallelujah  
Now raise your hands, give praise to him  
By singing Hallelujah_

 _Saved from the cold, 'cause I can do without you getting praise where I go  
There's a truth to be told, and I don't want them to go_

 _Why wont you  
Save them, oh I want to save you  
Heal them, let me release you  
Make them closer to your heart,  
We cant just watch these walls come tumbling down  
Why wont you save them, I will redeem you  
Heal them, if you hear my praise  
Make them closer to your heart  
We cant just watch these walls come tumbling down_

 _Saved from the cold, 'cause I can do without you getting praise where I go  
There's a truth to be told  
But I don't want you to go  
Pale from the fall, if that's your excuse then you'll never be called  
There's a truth to be told  
I just don't want it to show_

 _Why wont you  
Save them, I want to save you  
Heal them, I can heal you  
Make them closer to your heart,  
We cant just watch these walls come tumbling down  
Why wont you save them, mark my words  
Heal them, Ill bless your souls  
Make them closer to your heart  
We cant just watch these walls come tumbling down_

Diablo Swing Orchestra actually needed a moment to process what each individual in the band was seeing: The guests not only loved their music, but had created an impromptu party around the show. Some people brought meat, others brought vegetables, some brought decorations and cutlery, some brought mead or other homemade "refreshments". It not only made the band's journey up to this point worth it, but it may have been the happiest that the citizens of Stockholm had been since before the conversion to the Lutheran church had begun.

"Thank you everyone and goodnight" announced Aabram as the band began packing up for the evening. They did in a faster manner than before as they wished to join the celebration that had started on account of them. The fans from the church even assisted where they could.

"Did we do alright?" asked Hanna nervously to Baltasar.

"Splendidly! I never would've thought Stockholm had so many people who were willing to listen to us" replied Baltasar as he close a simple wooden case to house his instrument.

"There wasn't." added Ida.

"What do you mean?" asked Caspar, who was so confused that he had stopped dead in his tracks.

"Our network has grown so quickly, as we started before the church show at the...behest of a strange man in black. Some came from Gothenburg, a few from...other parts of Scandinavia" replied Jacobus.

"That's...amazing" was all that Daniel could say, while smiling that Aaron-prime was helping the band in other ways.

"People enjoy being subverted, all throughout history" stated Kane.

"We prefer to say that we write...Sing-along Songs for the Damned and Delirious" said Elf with a touch of whimsy in his voice.

"And this is just the beginning" said Lechardus.

"What do you mean?" asked Felicia.

Greta had returned from loading the last of the band's equipment onto a large wooden carriage, and had overheard a piece of the conversation. She chimed in immediately.

"Word of mouth has travelled so fast that you already have fans in other countries. Mainly oppressed peasants who will travel here because they have no lives to leave behind in Norway, Denmark and Finland. Actually, after 'Vodka Inferno', we may have even made fans from the Russian Empire."

Aabram was the most shocked out of the band, but also spoke first: "That's insane, because due to our day jobs, we can't exactly travel to other countries without attracting the wrong kind of attention."

"Well, there are a few other barns near Stockholm where the owners are sympathetic to your plight. But a permanent residence would likely be best" surmised Hanna.

Baltasar's eyes lit up, as he was having a eureka moment: "Caspar, are the rumours of your secret dancing room at the back your butcher shop true?"

"Oh that would be just perfect" said Ida with a grin and widened, idealistic eyes.

"Well yes I do. It even holds 50 people and has a stage but, it's right in the heart of town. It's very risky, if we get caught, we'll be burned at the stake for heresy...or worse"

"We'll work out a secret code. You could be doing your normal duties at the shop, someone says the code, you let them in. Pay attention to the attendance count so that we don't lose air." said Jacobus as he snapped his fingers.

Daniel, Elf and Felicia stared at Caspar, as if non-verbally begging him. The rest of the band and the fanatics joined them. Caspar nodded.

"Awesome" said Daniel.

"We'll get to work on a code right away." said Kane.

"Something non-descript, that way if Caspar has a regular customer in the shop as well, they won't notice or care" said Elf with a nod.

"I have one idea. Felicia, would you mind if I ran it by you in private?" asked Lechardus.

"Oh, of course not" replied Felicia with a grin. Everyone else rolled their eyes at them.

"Not to borrow an expression from the Spanish as well as the Greek. But hosting that band has opened QUITE the Pandora's Pinata across the land."

The church was so dark that it would've been hard for Aaron-prime himself to figure out who had said that. There were nearly a dozen people inside, half of whom had come from other churches throughout Europe.

"I accept responsibility for essentially beginning this town's rebellion against the church that I have pledged my life towards" replied someone else.

"We accept your apology, but you must serve the full punishment" a third voice replied. Several large men "escorted" the man behind voice #2 away. After the screaming had ended several minutes later (indicating that he had lost enough blood from the repeated stabbings), the dialogue resumed.

"Now where were we? Oh yes, to counter the effects of this rebellion...we must attach a reward for their heads."

The people in the church nodded, and whispers began as they debated the amount.

Chapter 4: An Analog Internet in the Renaissance

Greta Kjellberg was the de facto leader of the network of people established to assist Diablo Swing Orchestra. And while the primary function was to assure that the band's shows were profitable, there were other tasks to be handled. Today, her duty was going to be going over the coded message that one must use to enter the secret room of Caspar Johansson's Butcher Shop to a newly entrusted fan. Ever since rumours spread throughout Stockholm that there would soon be a reward for the heads of the band members posted by the Lutheran Church, special care needed to be taken that they did not trust the secret location of the band's shows to a mole sent by the Lutheran church who would in turn report them to the authorities.

This particular fan was, tall (by any society's standards). By modern standards, constant reader old chum, he was well over 7 feet in height (even without his trademark elk skin shoes), not particularly bright, but was known for being extremely gentle to everyone he came across. When it came time to introduce himself to Greta, he only extended to her his right index finger, for fear of breaking her hand. She smiled (and even giggled) at the gesture as she "shook it".

"So, Mr. Roussimoff, you are a farm hand who lives due west of Stockholm?" Greta asked.

"Call me Vincent, and yes madam" he said while straightening his curly brown hair and grey farm rags.

"I've been told that you have a criminal record." said Greta.

"Sorry that I do. There was a school fire in my native France a few years ago. I tore the back door off and rescued 18 of the 21 children who were caught in the building. I can still smell the last 3 that were already burnt to death to this day" he replied as he stared at a wall (and Greta noticed a single tear fall out of his right eye). He then continued "I knew that it was the church over there who started it (as they didn't want the children to get too smart to pledge obedience to them) so they conspired to blame me. I was originally sentenced to die by burning myself (the standard punishment for arsonists in France)."

"What went wrong?" asked Greta.

"Sometimes the convicts are strangled first, when some priests came to put me out of my misery, they realized that all 6 of them together couldn't choke me. Then they winked at me, set me free and told me to never return. I'll never see my France again. I only ended up in Sweden because this was the first land I've seen that never talked of the legend of the 'Giant Fireball', as I'm now known in my homeland"

Greta actually gave Vincent a hug (that he didn't reciprocate, for fear of breaking her back). "OK, you know the town butcher's address already?"

Vincent nodded, adding "My employer lets me take the chickens into town. As he tells me, Chicken farming is all but unheard of here."

Greta nodded "I've never had it myself. Anyways, when you walk in, you ask the guy who works there 'Might I trouble you for 6 pounds of vegetables?' and when he asks 'Do I look like I sell vegetables?' he's going to sound very angry, just reply calmly 'at least you're not as bad as the baker'. He will then let you into a secret place called 'The Butcher's Ballroom'"

"Thank you" said Vincent.

Hanna Canel (like the other 5 fanatics) didn't have much in the way of free time (as Diablo Swing's Fanatics had duties to their farms, educations or both). What free time she had, went towards securing venues outside of the Butcher's Ballroom. There were quite a few suitable places on the surface, but some criteria went into narrowing them down.

First and foremost, the venue up for consideration had to not be sympathetic to the newly installed Lutheran Church (that eliminated half of the venues in and around Stockholm right off the bat). Secondly, it needed to have amazing acoustics (as most places were ideal for 1 person speaking, not a 6 person band performing modern instruments AND singing, this eliminated two-thirds of the remaining half). Finally, it had to seat more than 50 people (otherwise, it would actually be preferable to just stay in the ballroom).

Hanna had had quite the adventure travelling to Stortorget, namely in that she had sneak into the district (she remembered the Stockholm Bloodbath from a couple of years prior where 80-90 people of clergy of nobility were massacred at the hands of King Christian II of Denmark). But she loved the buildings (North German architecture had been a great influence on this part of Stockholm), and whispered "I hope this becomes the district of international commerce" to herself.

"Not for another couple of centuries, I'm afraid" came a voice inside her head that she immediately knew was the benefactor in black who got her and her new friends started.

Hanna stopped walking momentarily, silently wondering if that had been a memory of a conversation with that figure in black who got her started on this job, or him communicating to her via witchcraft. She immediately dismissed it and continued to her journey to a building known throughout the town as Storkyrkan (The Great Church). The paint used on the outside was Brown, Orange and Blue, but all 3 had faded.

"I'm surprised that the Lutherans didn't take THIS building instead of the 1 in current use" she privately exclaimed.

"They eventually will, about 4 years from now. For now, this'll do nicely. Go inside, there should only be 1 person on duty as it's Wednesday according to the Julian calendar." came the voice a second time.

She went inside, appreciative that she didn't see any stained glass windows (as that would imply that the Catholic church owned the building). She did see someone cleaning up the place, a maid of slight build dressed in all-white.

"May I help you?" she asked after momentarily looking at Hanna.

"Hi, I'm just seeing if the place is ideal for a musical performance." replied Hanna. The maid gave her a puzzled look, then walked over to her very quickly.

"Do you represent the band that pissed off the Lutherans not long ago?" she asked, in a tone that suggested that she was slightly afraid for her life in even asking that question aloud. Hanna merely nodded, as a few others had come in and she did not wish to give her or the maid any unwanted attention.

"We're only a place of religion during the day. By night, we're just another venue for gathering. Gustav I did have his coronation here, but that's as close as we've gotten to the Lutherans. When would you like to use us? I was hoping to make it to that barn show but I didn't know about it until 3 days after it had happened"

Hanna smiled, and they got to work.

Ida took the longest time to get ready for her contribution. Her main obstacle was putting a wig on of short brown hair that she had to make herself using cut hair from the town's horses.

"It's horrible that they will not accept female couriers, but it's either I wear this wig or I cut most of my own hair off. Still, I appreciate Elf getting me the job, even if I'm just delivering the scrolls and the light packages that are not worth his time. Hope I get a lot of 'doubles'"

Doubles was referring to a code that established between Elf and Ida. If the delivery wasn't a "double", that means it was just a normal delivery (with maybe a tip of a silver piece as a gratuity). A "double" meant in addition to what they had normally ordered, they would receive an invitation to a show by the band as they had proven that they were trustworthy. If it was a double and the original order was a scroll, then a second scroll would be concealed inside the first one. If it was a parcel, then the invite would stuck to the bottom (as putting it inside the package itself was considered tampering, which was illegal). There was then a knock on a door, a small bag gently placed on her front porch (that she could hear all the way from her bedroom as her house was only 1 floor and her bedroom was at the front). She opened the door and Elf was already far enough away that she didn't bother shouting "Hello" at him. She opened the bag (likely a reused potato bag), and found only 1 scroll (but it had the word "double" printed on the front in very small letters, followed by an address.

"Interesting, this address is only 3 farms away. I wonder why Elf didn't take this one himself" said Ida out loud as she put on her coat (already dressed from head to toe in a modified black suit that she had to tailor herself to look more...masculine. The coat was big and white (but unisex enough to where no one would look at her strangely or ask her any unwanted questions.

It didn't take her very long to reach the address on the scroll, only 15 minutes or so by foot. She decided to knock traditionally (as she didn't know if this was a first time recipient or if they had been to more than one Diablo Swing Orchestra show at this point). The man who answered the door was (by Ida's standards or anyone else's) a giant. The rest of the fanatics had gossiped that the tallest man in town was one of them, but Greta never confirmed 1 way or another out of respect for the fans privacy (as they were taking just as much a risk for being associated with the band than the band themselves). They merely exchanged nods as she handed him his scroll. But the giant didn't close the door behind her even after she had turned around to start heading home.

"Men don't walk with the intent of their posterior shaking that much" he announced. Ida immediately blew her cover as she sank her head, feeling dejected.

And then it started raining. She felt the giant walk up to her left side and put his hand slightly above her head, shielding her from the raindrops.

"Come on, I'll walk you home." he said.

"Thank you. Good thing I'm not a child or staring at my rear end would be just nasty" replied Ida, dropping the facade entirely as they walked together.

Jacobus had the distinction of being the most educated and literate out of the fanatics of the band, which afforded him the privilege of being given extra paper, ink, and quills whenever the local school had anything left over. He utilized this to draft the invitations to the people that were trusted to come to the shows.

"I hope Elf got the invitation for the giant to Ida without issue." he said to himself as he sat alone in his classroom. It was a 1 classroom schoolhouse that wouldn't be the norm for another couple of centuries, but served quite useful for the children of Stockholm. He was given weird looks from every other student in the class (as no one wanted to stay behind for extra hours, as it indicated to the parents that they had been disobedient, to the punishment of severe physical abuse, either by the teachers or by their parents later in the evening...or both). But Jacobus was completely indifferent to the opinions of his classmates. He was more afraid that his new job would get him killed.

But having his teacher as his new boss relieved some of that anxiety, he even smiled when Professor Bergion re-entered the classroom.

"Sorry about that Mr. Kidman, I got questioned by 2 different sets of parents regarding the efforts made by their children. I imagine it was only because they're still...adjusting to having me as a teacher."

"I was having that feeling myself, Professor. I'm also nervous as to the deployment of our latest invitation" replied Jacobus.

"Oh he got it, he even walked Ida home when he figured out that 'he' was a 'she'" said Daniel with a smile.

"I hope for the day of gender equality. Even if you guys played safer music, you would probably still be labelled as heretics just for having a female member of the band." lamented Jacobus.

"Maybe not for having a female member, but definitely for paying her an equal wage. Maybe in the time where that figure in black who brought us together came from, there will be gender equality." said Daniel as he stared out the window, seeing the last of the younger children meet up with their parents.

"There's probably been some progress, but they're not completely there even in his time, which I calculate is sometime in the early 21st century." continued Daniel.

"He's not wrong" said a voice inside Jacobus' head.

"My god, so Baltasar was actually right in his guess that Aaron came from the early 21st century? I can only imagine how big the buildings are or how horseless the carriages are by then" whispered Jacobus.

"Indeed. Anyways, no new invitations for you to draft today. Did you need any help with your studies?" asked Daniel.

"No, I should get home and make it look like I still have any interest in farming chores so that I don't attract the...wrong kind of attention" replied Jacobus. Daniel nodded immediately, saying "Of course, no one in the band wants to lose any of you. You're dismissed for the day. But, be here early tomorrow. I think there might be a few new invitations to draft"

Kane's job in the fan network was to appeal to venues outside of Stockholm (and by extension, outside of Sweden). It was probably the most dangerous job of all from a global perspective, as it required guessing that a country not only had fans who wanted to hear Diablo Swing Orchestra (but couldn't travel to Stockholm for 1 reason or another) but having a venue that would allow them, somewhere to stay, food etc.

The first letters that he sent out were the day after the band's first show, namely Norway, Denmark, the United Kingdom and the German Empire. He was completely uncertain as to whether or not the letters even reached their target destinations (or if they even got close). But he also knew that no matter bad things got between mail theft, human error and letters getting lost (or confiscated by religious zealots, or destroyed for any number of reasons) at least a quarter of all letters sent would reach their intended recipients (even if only by accident).

"Oh how I dream of a more efficient postal system" said Kane to himself in the master bedroom of his log cabin.

"It's not even close to perfect in my time either" said a voice in his head that he knew was the figure in black from not so long ago. Kane smiled, happy that while it wasn't technically god (that he knew of), someone was watching over him and his new friends.

And then came a knock at the door...

...It took a minute for Kane to reach his door. When he opened, it was a delightful surprise.

"It's OK Ida, you don't have to be a boy with me" said Kane as he gave her a hug.

"I kind of wish I was for the additional muscle mass" she replied, dropping her "boy" voice.

"Oh?" replied Kane in confusion while tilting his head sideways to the right.

"These are all yours" replied Ida as she handed him a potato sack serving as a mailbag before continuing "I'm going to need the bag back"

"Of course" replied Kane as he emptied the contents of the bag onto a nearby table before handing Ida the empty bag. She smiled, nodded in gratitude and sped out Kane's field of view so fast that he didn't even have enough time to bid her farewell. Kane looked at the pile of letters and scrolls before him, and whispered "The pile is at least half as tall as I am, that means that more than half of my letters actually reached their intended readers, maybe even three quarters"

Kane then began sifting through them. He was happy to see letters of acceptance from not only cities that he wrote to (London, Copenhagen were the first 2 letters that he saw) but some were from places that he hadn't even written to.

"That's amazing, Scotland, France and even Eastern Europe want us to play for them. We have even more work to do than I thought. Uh oh, I'm running low on paper"

"Thanks Lechardus, you were great" said a note left behind in his bedroom written by Felicia. Lechardus smiled, as she was his first and was happy to lose his virginity to someone he cared about without feeling forced to marry them. It was quite liberating to have that freedom in any time period. But in the 16th century, it was practically unheard of (unless it involved a prostitute or a courtesan, of which Felicia was neither).

"OK Lechardus, you've had your fun, time to go to work" replied Aaron's voice.

"Centre of town again?" asked Lechardus.

"No, even the church morons might figure out you're there by now. Hit the north end of town this time." said Aaron rather dismissively.

Due to not having access to a horse, it took the better part of 2 hours to reach a part of the North side of Stockholm that would suit what Lechardus and Aaron were trying to accomplish.

"Maybe Aaron's cutting me a break. Centre part of town would've taken at least another hour. 2 more hours for me to travel to the southern part"

"Actually, I'm trying to space all of you out today. Hanna's already at the south side and the band themselves are in various parts of the town centre. In front of the library looks good, leave about a dozen footsteps between the front door and yourself."

Lechardus was happy that he would be in such an open space, as he was not comfortable in confined spaces (unless Diablo Swing was playing). He stood in front of the library (a green door), then walked exactly 12 normal paces before stopping. He was relieved that it left him more or less exactly between all of the businesses in the area. But not as relieved as he was when he discovered that he had avoided stepping in a pile of horse manure about 10 metres to his right.

"Could you...make the wind blow so that I don't have to smell it?" asked Lechardus.

"No can do. I would start a storm system that would kill a future emperor of China. Are you ready to begin?" asked Aaron.

Lechardus nodded, happy that the few people on the street didn't notice that he was (seemingly) talking to himself.

"Close your eyes" said Aaron, Lechardus obliged.

"Turn off every sense that you have except for hearing" said Aaron. It took Lechardus about a minute to "shut off" his senses. Sight went first (as his eyes were closed anyway), then taste, then touch, then smell (eliminating his disgust at the horse manure). The first couple of times that Lechardus did this, it scared him as to how much his hearing was amplified. Now it was almost second nature.

"Are you focusing in specific areas around you?" asked Aaron.

"Yes" replied Lechardus just before hearing "Why is the church so restrictive? Freedom needs to be in the hands of the individual once we reach the age of adulthood"

"Got one. Southeast of here, a little over half a kilometre away" announced Lechardus.

"Good work, accurate to within a few feet. Turn the senses back on, and hurry." said Aaron-prime frantically.

Lechardus began jogging, eventually reaching a bakery (which happened to be across the street from the now infamous butcher shop). He saw a girl in her mid-twenties, blonde hair, attractive, but for some reason was unmarried ("It doesn't matter if she's too poor to be married to a suitor" thought Lechardus). He knew that this was the voice that he had heard, and he took a small piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Excuse me madam, I think you need this more than I"

At first she looked at him strangely, then as he was walking away, he heard her say "If this is the band I'm not supposed to know about, who on Earth is Greta?"

They met in a field just west of town, all 12 of them.

"3 hours to showtime, this better be important" announced Felicia.

The fans then reviewed the secret code to get into the butcher's ballroom (much to the delight of the rest of the band), then they walked back into town. They were horrified at both what they were about to hear and were about to see. What they heard was town gossip focusing on the priest who had drafted the rules for the local Lutheran church...being found in an alleyway quartered into 4 equal pieces.

"He may have been our enemy, but he was a human being. Nobody deserves that short of committing a capital crime like murder or rape or something" said Elf.

"Agreed, I wouldn't wish this on anyone" added Daniel.

Daniel's eyes widened as he pointed at a piece of paper nailed to every lantern post on every street in Stockholm. Each one read "Wanted, 1000 silver pieces for information about the band of heretics known as the Diablo Swing Orchestra."

"I guess tonight is our only show in my ballroom" lamented Caspar.

"I guess we're giving up our day jobs" added Baltasar.

"Kane, you had a lot of letters expressing interest?" asked Aabram.

Kane and the other 5 fanatics nodded and smiled.

"We leave at daybreak" announced Greta, and they continued to the ballroom.

Chapter 5: A Homecoming for Outcasts

And so for about the next 3 years, Diablo Swing Orchestra travelled to anywhere in Europe that would have them. They began in Norway (where they were happy to not need to translate any of their songs, a privilege not extended to the band in many of the later countries), then sailed to Denmark for a crowd in Copenhagen that totalled several hundred people. From there, they had a quick stay in the Netherlands, then to the north of France where they enjoyed a 3 night stay in Paris, where they fell so much in love with its' elegance that Aabram jokingly said after the show "Several centuries from now, this will be the site of 1 one of the greatest towers in all of mankind, and it won't have royalty living in it"

They then set sail to England, where the crowd was actually the smallest (due to how oppressed the country was), but the few that came were among the happiest. Then they went to Scotland where they were given kilts by the clans that loved them (including from the Collins family, which amused the band to no end, given who their benefactor was). A quick boat ride to Ireland proved fruitful, as they enjoyed 4 nights in Dublin. The boat ride to Spain was the longest the band had to endure in all of their travels, with about a third of the crew and passengers succumbing to Scurvy and other diseases. The journey was worth it, as they were bigger in Spain than any other country that they ever had (or will) performed in. It even lead to a brief appearance by their benefactor in black, who informed them that in his time, there was a strange crossover in music fandom between Northern European musical groups and fandoms in Spanish and Portuguese speaking countries. The fanatics that followed them usually went to a new city a few days ahead of the band to make arrangements (venues, ticket sales and throwing the local churches off of the scent), then the band would follow.

The longest the band went without seeing their fanatics (who were like family to them by this point) was when they travelled through the south of France without playing a show, but they reunited in Genoa (wishing that this land and the lands nearby had appreciated Leonardo Da Vinci while he was still alive), and at least 2 shows were played in not only Switzerland, but every land that would eventually become Italy (including 6 shows in Rome, which was ironically in the state of the Catholic Church...they REALLY liked the Diablo Swing Orchestra song "Ricerca Dell 'anima"). After the province of Venice, they travelled throughout the German empire, Hungary, Transylvania (which had the biggest the post-show party of them all), Poland, Prussia, the Ottoman Empire, Moldavia, the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, Crimea, the Grand Duchy of Moscow (who basically only wanted "Vodka Inferno" and were polite enough to tolerate every other song, Aaron informed them that sometimes a band in his time that became famous for only 1 song were called "1 hit wonders"), Estonia, a boat ride to Finland before finally returning to their native Sweden in the early Winter of 1525.

What happened outside of performing was even crazier: Courtesans, Prostitutes, Widows, Widowers and just plain fans of the band would...find the band (and to some degree, the original 6 fanatics themselves) and engage in sexual relations after each show (or on travelling routes between the shows). It was difficult for the males to know if any of their female "groupies" (as Aaron once called them in each of their own heads) had become pregnant from their encounters, but Felicia had successfully become a mother to 2 children in the their almost 3 year tour of Europe. Between the loose clothing and no change in her voice, none of the casual fans had even noticed. Both of Felicia's children were blonde-haired, precocious and named Magnus (for the elder boy) and Othindsa (for the younger girl). No one in the band cared that they were only half-siblings, they would be raised never knowing that each of them had different fathers. Somehow the female fans who travelled with Diablo Swing Orchestra never got impregnated themselves (though the male fans weren't so sure that they weren't fathers to illegitimate children throughout Europe).

The promiscuity and the children that came from it weren't the only secrets that the band and their travelling fans had to keep for the rest of their lives: Sometimes, they became intimate with people of their own gender. The first time for each of them gave them great anxiety (as homosexuality was a sin punishable by death in pretty much all of the so-called "civilized" world at the time). Aaron had made sure to visit each of them personally to assure them that regardless of the views of the societies around them, that human sexuality would eventually be seen as a spectrum with infinite possibilities for each person. It lead to quite an interesting encounter between Aaron, Felicia and Lechardus.

"So anyways, there are men who like women, men who like men, women who like men, women who like women, men who like both, women who like both, men who like neither, women who like neither and then there are some who don't adhere to 1 gender at all or adhere to both at the same time. I think that may cover everything but I could just as easily be missing a possibility or 2 myself." ranted Aaron as Felicia and Lechardus nodded, following every word. Then Lechardus and Felicia took all of their clothes off in 1 motion each.

"What are you 2 doing?" asked Aaron, who was very frightened at seeing 2 people he considered friends literally throwing themselves at him.

"We've taken a guess that you were a man who liked both" replied Felicia with a smile.

"I'm across the entire spectrum, it really depends on my surroundings. Having said that, I'm none of the spectrum as well." said Aaron while making sure to look away from the 2 naked humans in front of him.

"We don't understand" said Lechardus who was very slowly walking towards him.

"When I was human, I never engaged in sexual contact willingly with another human being (and I only had sex with myself for medical reasons). I spent almost all of my life in a Sanitarium, very isolated from pretty much everyone in the human race unless they were a doctor. I'm not even sure if I can have sexual relations with a human anymore as I'm not really one myself. And assuming I could, I would prefer my first to be with someone special. Not that you're both not special to me, but I think that you get my point"

Felicia and Lechardus both nodded as they re-dressed. They also each tried to apologize, but Aaron-prime waved them off and vanished before either one of them could say anything.

Everyone in the band had lost track of time to an extent as they re-entered their home of Stockholm for the first time in so long, but they knew that they had been gone for somewhere between 2 and 3 years. They made an effort to re-enter the town during the night hours in order not to arouse suspicion and guessed that they in the middle of the week of the Julian Calendar (as even the taverns in the area were closed). Aabram was horrified at the excessive decorations (namely Red, Green and White) across all of the trees and buildings in the area, as was the rest of the band and their fans (Magnus and Othindsa merely held each others hands and stared at the snow falling).

"What the hell is the meaning of all of this?" asked Aabram

"It must be that holiday we heard about in Rome. What was it called? Oh right, Christmas. It's supposed to be some modified version of the Roman holiday called 'Saturnalia'" replied Greta.

"So we're near...December Twenty-Fifth in the Julian Calendar" said Baltasar.

"Based on how...tacky our home town is decorated, I would say we're within a week of the day" replied Hanna.

"Based on what we've seen so far, I think that it's safe to say that all of our businesses have been picked up by other people. I'll miss that ballroom" lamented Caspar, who sounded very sad.

"I'll do you 1 better, we're still...in demand" said Ida as she pointed to a store window. It had the latest reward poster glued to it. It was sepia-toned, had all of the band members and fanatics pencil sketches on it, and a 2-tiered reward system that shocked everyone.

"10000 silver pieces for a band member, 1000 silver pieces for 1 of their conspirators, must be alive in order to claim the reward" read Daniel aloud.

"That's too high a reward to not be sold out by a fan who desperately needs the money, and if 1 of us turns on the others, we're dead anyway" declared Jacobus.

"Or be caught by someone in town who outright sides with the church" added Elf.

Kane sighed before he began talking "Our only option is to get ourselves caught on purpose. The band writes letters to their descendants to be opened in a time where Diablo's music is more tolerated. 2003 sounds like a decent enough of a year. Our benefactor in black should be alive by then and when he hears Diablo's music it'll complete the time loop that he needs to go back to 3 years ago and bring us together. In these letters, we will detail the exact location of the sheet music for all of the songs (we'll...bury them in a forest nearby). After we've buried everything, we leak the location of the last show with the intention of getting caught and we go out as martyrs."

"1 thing wrong with that plan" began Felicia, who paused before continuing "All of you fans will escape (with my kids) as you will be the ones who have the letters to pass down to people you trust as we can't trust any post office in the world (even one that likes our music) to keep these letters under guard for over 475 years. We need to keep these letters moving."

"I guess that we have some work to do. Digging in wintertime is going to suck." said Lechardus.

"OK, that's a 6 foot hole" said Greta. The fans elected to dig the hole themselves the very next night, and started without the band.

"How did you know where to dig again?" asked Hanna.

"Aaron told me in a dream that this forest would still be here in the early 21st century, part of some national park. He then went on some tangent as to the irony of telling someone named Ida about something creative in his mind. I had no idea what he was talking about" said Ida.

"Maybe he knew another Ida in his past, which is still our future. Anyways, hopefully the band took care of their end" said Jacobus.

"I don't know, I'm beginning to worry that something went wrong and they got caught by the Lutherans" answered Kane.

"I'm just happy that the dirt wasn't completely frozen" whispered Lechardus.

The band emerged with a large wooden box from the west.

"Sorry, we had to take a few different paths to get here, the surveillance in town is insane nowadays" said Aabram.

"There's several albums of material in here, more than enough to last our descendants for years" said Baltasar as he lowered the box into the hole.

"We went with the ballroom instead of the barn for our last show. I bribed the new shopkeeper to 'not be open' that day and my key to both the shop and the ballroom still works" said Caspar.

"The location is already leaked, we play in 3 nights time" said Daniel.

"More than enough time for you guys to take these and get out of the country." said Elf as he handed each of the fans an off-white envelope and a brown leather bag (which judging by the weight, had at least 2500 silver pieces in each one).

"Lastly, here are my children. Aaron told us that your descendants can re-settle here in about 100 years time, and here is where we say our goodbyes" announced Felicia while crying. After a long exchange of hugs and kisses, the band travelled back to Stockholm, the fanatics began plotting safe passage to Denmark.

 _Seizures may guide me, insanity found me_ _  
_ _I smile as your vanity sings us to sleep_ _  
_ _Burning from both sides, secrets we can't hide_ _  
_ _That halo you're wearing, it's not yours to keep_ _  
_ _Stolen, and maybe broken,_ _  
_ _Since all that you left_ _  
_ _Is a life that can never be whole again_ _  
_ _Fallen, I heard the warning,_ _  
_ _'Cause all that I had was a life_ _  
_ _That can never be whole again_ _  
_ _Will you wait in my honour?_ _  
_ _Save what's left of it_ _  
_ _In vain, when it's there_ _  
_ _For all to see_ _  
_ _Will I wait in your honour?_ _  
_ _Save what's left of it_ _  
_ _In vain, when it's there_ _  
_ _For all to see_ _  
_ _Hear,_ _  
_ _The sound of violence_ _  
_ _It's a beat that_ _  
_ _Makes us dance_ _  
_ _You sway_ _  
_ _And I follow your lead_ _  
_ _Drained, like a landmine_ _  
_ _Armed and primed_ _  
_ _Your words,_ _  
_ _They sound like mine_ _  
_ _We all shall repent_ _  
_ _What we've done_ _  
_ _In time_ _  
_ _Confession in real time_ _  
_ _Lies could have been mine_ _  
_ _Naked are words that_ _  
_ _Are dressed up in truth_ _  
_ _Light up with voices_ _  
_ _Screaming your choices_ _  
_ _All that was lost just_ _  
_ _To keep you from harm_ _  
_ _Spoken, like you told them, for all that I_ _  
_ _Left was a battle that I'll never fight again_ _  
_ _Show them we're above them,_ _  
_ _For all that I have is heart unsure_ _  
_ _If even time can mend_

"That was our last song, 'Justice For Saint Mary'. Farewell to all of you, we love you, goodbye" announced Aabram, who by now had counted 20 officers of the Lutheran Church inside the Butcher's Ballroom. Why the officers had allowed them to play for nearly 4 hours (or pack up their instruments, for that matter) is something that puzzled every member of the band to no end. By this time, Baltasar had walked up beside Aabram and asked "How do we want to deal with them?"

"We go quietly enough to not risk the safety of any of our ticket buyers, but make it known what's going on" replied Caspar.

"Yeah, no point in engaging in fisticuffs, or even 'Pacifisticuffs' when there's 20 of them." added Daniel.

"It has been my highest honour and privilege to be in this band" said Elf.

"There is not a single one of us who feels differently. Time to become martyrs" finished Felicia.

They took 1 last at the ballroom as they walked off the makeshift, deeply stained wooden stage, and were pleasantly surprised that the chairs (while there but off to one side of the ballroom) were never used. Every fan was cheering for them, oblivious to the smells of the dead animals that permeated the butcher shop that housed this secret room of brown cobblestone.

"Diablo Swing Orchestra, you are under detention for crimes against the Lutheran Church." was all that the band heard. And they didn't need to say anything, the outrage had already begun the riots, lead by Vincent the giant (who received nods and mouthed "Thank yous" from every member of the band).

Chapter 6: One loop closes, a road opens

" _It is the findings of this court that the confessions to heresy were made by 6 people of rational mind and spirit. Therefore, I see no reason not to sentence all of you to death via burning of the stake"_

Cammy showed the entire trial to Aaron-Prime, as per his request. Torture and other forms of coercion were not necessary as all 6 members of Diablo Swing Orchestra voluntarily confessed shortly after all of them were apprehended (basically once they knew that their closest fans were safely out of the country).

"Cammy, would I be tearing the fabric of the multi-dimensional space-time continuum if I visited them the morning of their scheduled executions?" asked Aaron-prime to the closest thing that Aaron had to a confidante.

"No sir, and it would be nice on your part to comfort them" replied Cammy.

"Very well. Put me down in Aabram's cell at 7 AM local time February 14th 1526."

Aaron did his best to keep the members of the Diablo Swing Orchestra calm as they knew that they were going to their deaths. Mostly he engaged in casual conversation with them, but each of them had 1 unique question (which Aaron answered frankly, no matter which dungeon (or holding cell) that he was in. Every cell was grey, cobblestone, had leaks everywhere and were just as lifeless as Aaron-prime was.

"In your time, is Sweden good at any sport?" asked Aabram.

"Yes, an Ice-based sport called Hockey invented by a land you don't know the name of yet called, Canada" replied Aaron.

"Will any of our fans get into the...trouble that the band is in now?" asked Baltasar

"A few close calls aside, they live quietly for the rest of their lives." replied Aaron.

"Will there always be a need for butchers?" asked Caspar.

"Yes, but in my time there is a sizable part of the population that does not eat animals. We call them vegetarians" replied Aaron (which caused Caspar to breathe out a sigh of relief).

"Will music always be seen as subversive?" asked Daniel.

"Some music will be but by my time it will have to be pretty extreme for anyone to even care." replied Aaron.

"Will you at least remember us?" asked Elf.

"Until the end of time. I love all 6 of you very much and have ever since I became aware of your existence" replied Aaron.

"My...monthly bleeding has stopped. Am I...pregnant again?" asked Felicia (much to the shock of her male bandmates).

Aaron scanned Felicia's insides, and revealed a foetus inside of her approximately 11-13 weeks along. He suppressed great feelings of mortal terror, as he knew that stopping Felicia's execution would create a paradox. Still, it would be risky to even be honest with her, as she might escape (which would also be a paradox).

"No, in the timeline where you never formed this band this would be the beginning of a medical problem where you just skip some months of bleeding." replied Aaron (which did relieve Felicia to no small degree).

Aaron then quietly hugged each member of the band individually, waved goodbye, then vanished.

Aaron-prime didn't have to watch their executions from Nth-dimensional space, and he knew that. Cammy couldn't even tell if he was watching in order to ensure that everything went according to plan, or if he had grown fond of them and felt guilt for what he had done. Given that a tear left each of Aaron's eyes, Cammy suspected that it was the latter.

"So strange. You're made of what passes for glass in Nth-dimensional space, but I can still feel the warmth of the fire that's burning them, smell their flesh and organs burning, taste the overall feeling of vengeance that occurs with most executions throughout history, see the bloated ego of the Lutheran church feeling satisfied for executing 6 dissidents...but I can't hear them screaming." said Aaron-prime in a very low whisper.

"That's because they're not. They're refusing to give the church the satisfaction." replied Cammy, who was wishing that she was in human form to give a sympathetic hug to Aaron.

"That doesn't make me feel any better" said Aaron.

"Sir, you know that they had to die in order to ensure that your younger self hears their music" said Cammy.

"The war of Philadelphia was against a group of inter-dimensional beings who didn't value any life at all. I am now just as bad as them" said Aaron, full of guilt.

"By not sending them to their deaths, the multiverse ends. This is the price you pay for playing god, killing 6 to save trillions." said Cammy in an effort to be pragmatic over what she saw was a mercy killing.

"Maybe I should've listened to god more, before I killed him" said Aaron, switching Cammy off. He then mentally projected certain...additions to each of the letters. Additions that no one in the 16th century could ever even begin to understand.

The residents of Stockholm were always friendly on New Year's Day (even in the year of 2003). In fact, it wasn't uncommon for an old-fashioned tip of the hat to be exchanged as a non-verbal hello between strangers. Daniel Hakansson did engage in the custom, but was walking briskly along Vaestmannagatan, as he was in a hurry. He continued to walk quickly as a large gust of arctic wind seemed to blow through his all-black dress shirt and pants. Part of him silently wondered he hadn't slipped and fallen on any of the ice on the street, as he was also wearing brown leather dress shoes. He reached 69 Vaestmannagatan and very carefully took a letter out of his pocket. It was deeply stained brown, looked several centuries old, and had been taped back together several times. But the numbers on the top of the page were something that no one would've recognized until at least 3 centuries after this was written. It was modern Latitude and Longitude. Daniel then took out a new grey metal and electrical box called a global positioning system and punched in a very long series of numbers, 50 decimal places plus the whole numbers needed to establish that he was even close to where his letter asked him to be.

"With 50 decimal places, the GPS should put me to within maybe 10 or 20 centimetres of my target. Huh, apparently I reached the right place" he said to himself. He walked inside a restaurant called the Lilla Ego to find a dimly-lit interior decorated with a flair that suggested that the owner kept up on the modern art scene in the Scandinavia. There were 5 other people in the main lobby, all of whom were reading letters of similar age and condition.

"I guess this is the first time in over 475 years that all 6 letters are together in the same room. Hello everyone, I'm Daniel Hakansson." he said while making sure to make eye contact with the other 5 descendants of a band from long ago, barely (if at all) remembered in modern times.

"Aabram's descendant. Hello, I'm Pontus Mantefors. My ancestor was Baltasar, I did some homework at the library as I've had this letter for a couple of weeks now" replied a man wearing long, dirty-blonde dreadlocks (which was a weird juxtaposition to his 3 piece grey suit who shook Daniel's hand).

"Anders Johansson, people mostly call me 'Andy' though. My ancestor was Caspar." replied the second man who has medium length brown hair and was wearing a white dress shirt and black dress pants.

"Johannes Bergion. Strangely enough my ancestor was also named Daniel" replied a man in glasses, long hair in a ponytail, and dressed in all brown dress clothes, right down to his shoes.

"Andreas Halvardsson, I'm the descendent of Elf" replied a man with long, somewhat curvy blonde haired man dressed all in black.

"Annlouice Logdlund, I guess I'm Felicia's great times 15 or 16 generations granddaughter" said a young, heavy woman wearing an all red satin dress and black high heels.

Traditional Scandinavian flair with a modern twist was the modus operandi of Lilla Ego (in the worlds that had 1, at any rate), and regardless of which new friend or which meal they ordered (Fried Lobster was the biggest hit), everyone was feeling more than a little bloated. In fact, very little actual conversation had actually transpired.

"It's amazing, how all 6 letters weren't destroyed by the effects of time" opened Daniel, sounding amazed.

"It...shouldn't have happened. There are so many documents from even 100 years ago that have gotten lost or destroyed. And all of these are nearly 500. Even applying the law of averages, 1 of them should've stopped on its' journey to reach us before 1600, 2 more before 1800, and another 2 by now." added Pontus.

Anders saw something in the bottom right hand corner of his letter, it was another number. Then he saw a random word on the bottom left hand corner

"Could everyone put their letters on the table please? I think there's another message once we put all 6 together" he asked frantically.

Johannes put his down first, but the other 5 weren't far behind. After a couple of time re-arranging the letters around, his eyes widened.

"My god, another set of modern map co-ordinates on the right. And the message 'Expand and change band-members as needed'"

Andreas saw that Daniel was punching them into his GPS, so he began whispering each piece of their newest puzzle as Annlouice looked onward intently.

"It's pointing to Tyresta National Park" said Andreas.

"Good, maybe we have to dig and work off the food that we just ate" added Annlouice.

It took more than 4 hours to arrive at the park, find the spot and dig accordingly, but once they hit a wooden box.

"I think we got it" declared Daniel.

All 6 of them grabbed whatever end of the box that they could, then pulled up like pulling an anchor out of the sea. The ground was relatively soft (by winter's standards in Sweden, at any rate) so pulling the box out of the earth wasn't terribly difficult.

"I'm actually surprised that this wasn't destroyed as well, all things considered. The box isn't even particularly mouldy" said Pontus as he took it upon himself to examine the box.

"Whoever made the box was very skilled in woodworking, and metalworking based on the hinges. The town blacksmith, maybe?" asked Anders.

Johannes very slowly opened the box, making sure not to damage its' contents.

"Holy shit, sheet music" he declared.

"Several albums worth, by my guess" added Andreas.

"I guess we know what we're doing for the next decade or 2" concluded Annlouice.

"How well do you guys know our ancestors?" asked Daniel.

"My family told the folk tales all the time when I was a kid. They made scary music, they may or may not have gotten caught on purpose and were burned to death...not all that far from where we just ate, actually." replied Pontus.

"Did you ever hear of the fanatics that assisted them? They basically created a social network across Europe so that our ancestors could tour. I wonder if that would work on this new thing I keep seeing called 'MySpace', only more globally" speculated Anders.

"I kept tabs of them, their descendants formed the core members of the bands Drain STH and Meshuggah" replied Johannes who then offered a thoughtful nod.

"Good for them. I wonder if they really did have 'the benefactor in black'" added Andreas.

"If they did, he'd be human now...somewhere in his late teens or early 20's. If he's alive, wherever he is, he'd be the perfect guy to write the story from long ago. Actually, I'd like to read about what happened to the letters between the early 16th century and now as well. They must've seen the world a couple of times over at least"

And in both a mental asylum in Colorado as well as in Nth-dimensional space 14 years later, Aaron smiled and winked at the band, the fans, and you, constant reader old chum. But then came a new figure behind Aaron, standing between Aaron and Cammy.

"Where am I? Aaron, is that you? I haven't seen you in over 20 years." stood another inter-dimensional being.

"Lechardus, hello. I didn't know that the fanatic I was treating to focus his senses like an inter-dimensional being, would eventually become an inter-dimensional being in their own right."

"I did" replied Cammy. "He was the prime version of himself all along, so when he dies in 1548, he came up here. He drifted aimlessly through Nth-dimensional space for over 4 and a half centuries so that he wouldn't become a part of the mixed poker game gone bad or the War of Philadelphia. I kept him hidden in order to preserve the multiverse Aaron, he's not the first person I've treated this way, and you will never get me to reveal the others until they're ready"

"Wow, that giant ball of glass can talk. This is more extraordinary than anything Baltasar ever made in his shop. Are there more like us, Aaron?"

Aaron sighed before answering "I thought that I was the last one. But, I suppose there are other guardians of the multiverse now. Come on Lechardus, we obviously have more training to do"


End file.
